Hоw Surrogates Arе Involved In Choosing Intеndеd Pаrеntѕ

Hоw Surrogates Arе Involved In Choosing Intеndеd Pаrеntѕ


More Photos..

Making the decision to become a surrogate mother is a very serious one and a deeply personal one at that. There are many reasons that a woman might decide to become a surrogate. She may have a close friend or family member that has struggled with infertility, or she may know a same-sex couple who must use the services of a surrogate to start their own family.  


There is always a lot of discussion about how intended parents find the surrogate that is just right for them. Did you know that the surrogate gets to choose the intended parents as well? Potential surrogates do have the right to set the parameters for who they would like to offer their services to.  


For example, the surrogate gets to choose whether or not she wants to help a national or international couple. She can specify whether or not she wants the couple to live near her or not, and she can choose from intended parents who do or do not want prolonged contact with her after the birth. Some surrogates do not care to stay in contact with the intended parents after the birth, but it is very important to others to see the child grow up. They may even send a birthday card each year and intended parents may send the surrogate pictures of their growing child.  


For some surrogates, there are other considerations as well, such as the intended parents' age, sexual orientation, or religion. Now keep in mind these things may not be important to every surrogate, but some or all of these things may be important to some surrogates. At the heart of things, surrogate mothers just want to know that the child they bring into this world is going to be well cared for by a loving couple in a stable home.  

The majority of surrogates choose to find their intended parents through a reputable surrogacy agency. While this can be a little more expensive than finding a surrogate outside of an agency, you have the added peace of mind that you are dealing with experienced professionals. This is true for both the surrogate and the intended parents.  


The agency will interview the surrogate at length to find out what she expects from her intended parents. Just as they will interview the intended parents at length to see what they expect from their surrogate. After these interviews are complete, the surrogacy agency will begin the process of finding the right match for both parties.  


The process of matching a surrogate to the right intended parents can take six months or more, so don’t get frustrated if you don’t get matched right away. The surrogate and the intended parents will spend a lot of time together throughout this process and in the end, will be bonded to each other for life. The surrogate is providing a true miracle for intended parents who can’t have a child any other way and miracles simply cannot be rushed.  

  • Alphina S.

    May 12, 2017

    I wasn't aware of the part the surrogate mother plays in the selection of the couple that she ultimately works with. I love how every step of the journey is so carefully planned so that both the surrogate and the intended parents' questions are answered in advance.

  • F Addams

    May 30, 2017

    Very informative article for those who are looking to learn more about the process of surrogacy. I agree with Alphina that it's great that the surrogate mothers have a choice in all of this as to who they work with. It's good that they take everyone's needs into consideration.

  • Shawna D

    June 7, 2017

    I think it's great that both surrogates and intended parents have a say in the whole process. I know that some people are on the fence about surrogacy because of lack of information, and I think that it is really beneficial for both the potential surrogate and the intended parents to be able to get all their questions and concerns dealt with. Great article!