Whаt to Look fоr іn a Surrogate Mother

Whаt to Look fоr іn a Surrogate Mother

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Millions of Americans have the desire to become parents, but for whatever reason, they may not be able to conceive on their own. Some of these people will opt for adoption, but others want to have a child of their own. In these cases, a surrogate mother is their best option. 


So, what is surrogacy? Surrogacy is the process of having the embryo of the biological parents implanted into the uterus of a surrogate mother. If the implantation is successful, the surrogate mother will then carry the pregnancy to term and deliver a healthy baby to the biological parents. The biological parents are commonly referred to as the "intended parents." Intended parents will have to go through the necessary legal steps in their state prior to the birth of the child to ensure their legal rights. Each state has different laws regarding surrogacy, so consulting with a lawyer, or a surrogacy service, is recommended.


Finding a surrogate who will fit your needs can be a difficult process and that is one reason that intended parents may decide to use a surrogacy service. Even with the use of a service, there are still many surrogates to choose from, so how do you choose the right surrogate for you?


Before choosing someone as a surrogate you will want to have an in-depth look at what their life is like, and the best surrogates are fully aware that transparency is necessary for an arrangement like this to work. Where do they live? Is it a safe, stable environment? Where do they work? Do they intend to continue working throughout the pregnancy? Is there any harm that could come to the baby from the surrogate’s home or work environment? Does the potential surrogate have healthy habits for their diet and exercise routine? Do they have a support system to help them through the surrogacy process? 

An ideal surrogate candidate will have already had at least one healthy pregnancy that she has carried to term. Candidates for surrogacy should also be prepared to show you letters of references from family, friends, employers, and past intended parents, if she has been a surrogate before. 


A proper surrogate will be very aware that she is taking on all the responsibility of bringing a healthy child into the world on behalf of the intended parents. This a hefty responsibility and one that must not be taken lightly. There are no breaks from carrying a child to term. Once the surrogate has been selected and the process begun, there is no stopping it. These are all things that need to be very carefully considered before choosing a surrogate. Ask your potential candidates why they want to be surrogates and listen closely to their answers. 


Part of the surrogate process is payment to the surrogate mother. If you use a surrogate agency, then in all likelihood the fee schedule is already pre-determined. However, if you are not using an agency then you, the surrogate, and your legal counsel will have to discuss terms of payment. Regardless, payments should be handled through a trust or escrow account to make sure that all parties are protected. 

Be assured that you will find the perfect surrogate that is right for you, but it may take some time, so don't get discouraged with the process. Make sure that your surrogate candidates are healthy and transparent with the interview process. You are looking for the candidate that truly believes in what she is doing for the intended parents and finds joy in providing that miracle to a couple who might otherwise remain childless.  

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