What Yоu Shоuld Know Bеfоrе Bесоmіng a Surrоgаtе Mother

What Yоu Shоuld Know Bеfоrе Bесоmіng a Surrоgаtе Mother

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Surrogacy is a beautiful gift that a woman can give to a childless couple. It is one of the most selfless things that you can do; however, it can take a real toll both emotionally and physically on the surrogate mother. There are some psychological risks associated with being a surrogate, but those risks can be minimized with counseling before, during, and after the process. 

Surrogate mothers form a deep bond with the intended parents of the baby they are carrying. In some cases, the bond the surrogate forms with the couple is even greater than the one that they form with the child they are carrying. The surrogate and the couple speak to each other regularly and see each other for prenatal visits to the doctor, shopping for maternity clothes, and other needs that the surrogate might have. Because the surrogate and the couple see each other often, some surrogates report feelings of depression after the birth, not because they relinquished the child they were carrying, but because they miss the contact with the couple. 

The routines and relationships developed between the surrogate, the intended parents, and the medical staff can leave the surrogate feeling lost or lonely after the birth of the child. She has just given the child she was carrying to the intended parents and now she must determine what her new routine will be while dealing with this sense of loss. That is not to say she isn't happy for the parents; just that in some ways it is a loss to the surrogate mother. Counseling after surrogacy is available and should be encouraged so that the surrogate can deal with the emotions that she has afterward. Not only is the surrogate dealing with a loss of the relationships she has cultivated over the past 10 months or more, but with the hormonal aftermath of pregnancy. 

One more psychological risk that women should consider before surrogacy is how people around them will react to what they are doing. Surrogacy is a beautiful gift to give an infertile couple, but not everyone feels that way and a surrogate doesn't live in a social bubble. What will your friends and family say about what you are doing? Some will likely be very supportive throughout the process, but others may be morally and ethically opposed to it. Any potential surrogate needs to be prepared for the fact that not everyone will love the idea of what they are doing. 

Before becoming a surrogate mother, you should be aware of all of the mental, physical, and emotional implications. The mental and emotional implications are why each candidate is comprehensively screened, not just for their physical health, but their mental health as well. Having someone who is experienced in surrogacy to talk to throughout the process can't help but to make the process easier and healthier for both the surrogate mother and the child that she will be carrying. 


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